Happy Belated Mother’s Day to all the mothers, grandmothers, mothers-in-law, surrogate mothers, adoptive mothers, and soon-to-be mothers.
It surprises me that I now fall into that last category.
Or mum as they say here in our neck of the woods.
The thought is still very surreal to me.
Someone is going to be looking to me and calling me mom.
Someone is going to be looking to me for love, strength, comfort, and direction for navigating this crazy world we’re in.
A world I still find difficult to navigate myself.
Someone is going to wake me in the middle of the night; burp, pee, poo, and make a general mess out of everything as only children can do.
Someone is going to need me to survive. Every minute of every hour of every day.
I’m going to become a mom.
The weight of this responsibility is overwhelming.
Especially for a prepper and planner like myself as, from what I’ve read and heard from others, there’s no way to truly prepare yourself.
It’s just something you have to step into with a whole lot of compassion (especially for yourself), gumption, and willingness to make mistakes.
I’m already coming to terms with the fact that I won’t be some supermom.
But as a struggling perfectionist, it’s something that’s a lot easier said than done.
In all honestly don’t know what kind of mom I’ll be.
Sure I speculate and joke about being a cool laidback mom, or a progressive indie mom, or even an overbearing tiger mom.
But you never really know until you’re in it, and even once you’re in it you could be blind to certain things.
You read stories or see novel length posts on social media about motherhood and you think that would never happen to me. I wouldn’t be that kind of mom, I wouldn’t teach my children that.
But are you sure?
As someone who’s yet to officially become a mom, I’m not sure.
There are many things I’m unsure of as I step into this new role, but I do want to promise this to my little one:
I will try my best.
I will try my best to have compassion not only for myself, but for you, for your father, and for other moms in the trenches with me.
I will try my best to have a willingness to not just make mistakes, because they will be made, but also learn from them.
And I will try my best to have the courage to simply be your mom – to love, support, comfort, teach, and play with you the best way I know how.
Regardless of how society thinks I should be.
Regardless of the idea of being a supermom.
Regardless of being perfect.
I promise to be your mom in the laidback, progressive, yet – let’s be real – slightly overbearing way I know how.
Thanks for reading my thoughts