What I’m Looking Forward to in 2018

looking forward to in 2018Happy 2018 lovely people!

I hope your new year has been filled with lots of joy and laughter so far.

I’m still in Germany with my folks, which has been great. Mason has been able to get a full dose of his grandparents in action.

Which in turn has given me some moments to myself for reflection on this new year.

And while I don’t have any official resolutions, I thought I’d share some life changes I’m planning to make as well as what I’m looking forward to in 2018.

Life Changes & What I’m Looking Forward to in 2018

 

Redefining what it means to be a mom, creative, and girlboss

There have been many things in my life that have worried me, filled me with anxiety, and stressed me the eff out.

But none have come close to how I feel trying to navigate this new role of motherhood.

To be quite frank, the thing that scares me the most about becoming a mom has nothing to do with keeping a tiny human alive and raising him to be a decent member of society {though I, like I assume many new moms do, question my ability to do so quite frequently}.

The thing that scares me the most about being a mom is losing my sense of self in the role.

Don’t get me wrong, my #1 priority is being the best mom I can be to Mason {and any future babyceetees}. But I don’t want being a mom to solely define who I am.

And those thoughts bring an overwhelming feeling of mom guilt and a sense that I’m being selfish.

Some women live to become a mom and struggle their entire lives to do so – and here I am, blessed with a little one and wanting more than the pure joy of being a mom.

Is that wrong of me? I don’t know.

But it’s my life, and ultimately it’s up to me to define what this all means to me.

Despite what I see everyone else is doing and the nagging voice in the back of my mind saying I should do it like this or like that because look at so-and-so and how wonderfully they’re living life.

This year I’m determined to focus on doing me and defining the roles of mom, creative, girlboss, and anything else that may come on my plate by my own terms.

Now what that’ll look like exactly, I’m not sure – but I’m excited to go on the journey to find out.

 

Creating more real, off-the-cuff content

Piggybacking off what I said about redefining what it means to me to be a creative – I also want to redefine what kind of content I create.

I feel over these past few years I’ve been way to consumed with what content I should create based on growing a following, partnering with brands etc. etc

And in my pursuit of blogging for business, I feel as if I lost my voice, unique perspective, and creative spunk.

I was trying so hard to follow the blogging “rules” in order to please everyone except myself.

And this may come off as a bit selfish, but while it makes me super happy if my content connects or resonates with my readers – I don’t create it for you.

I create my content for me, because it brings me joy, enlightenment, inspiration, and a sense of creative expression.

So this year I’m looking to get back to the real, off-the-cuff content I so enjoyed doing before.

You may like it, you may not. But it’s what makes me happy, and at the end of the day, that’s what matters most.

 

Embracing more structured flow

I’ve learned over the years that I’m someone who thrives with, what I like to call – structured flow.

I’m not someone who likes a very strict and rigid schedule – it makes me feel too constricted and anxious over getting everything done exactly as planned.

But I do need some structure to help me focus and GSD {Get Shit Done}, otherwise I feel scatterbrained and it takes me ages to finish anything – if I finish it at all.

Hence the need for structured flow – just enough structure where I can get into my groove {or flow} and GSD {see above 😉 💁🏾‍♀️}

I need it in my life now more than ever with the constant juggling of mommying, creating, and just basic living.

looking forward to in 2018

Not Being Preggers 🤰🏾

2017 was truly the year of pregnancy since it all began in January.

And while I enjoyed being pregnant overall – I am so happy to be done {for now}. And that I get to spend some quality time NOT being pregnant.

It’s nice having my body back to myself and to start shopping for normal clothes!…well kind of – still working on that baby weight, but #newyearnewme, amirite? 👏🏾

 

Watching Mason grow

Mason is about to turn 3 months in a few days. And it’s been amazing seeing the change and growth he’s gone through.

He’s developing into his own person with quite the personality and spunk.

It’s been really fun watching him develop and become more interactive with us.

And I can’t wait to see how he grows over the year.

 

Continuing our adventure of living abroad

Last year we didn’t get to do nearly as much as travel as I would’ve liked due to our focus on getting ready for baby.

Time just seemed to always get away from us.

But this year I’m determined to get in as much travel as we can – yes, even with Mason.

I’m not sure how much longer we have in London and I don’t want to let this opportunity of being so close to all these amazing places pass us by.

It definitely won’t be as easy getting around when it was just the two of us, but I don’t want that to be an excuse to not even try.

They say this is the best time to travel with little ones anyways. They’re not quite mobile and it doesn’t require immense effort to keep them distracted when on planes or trains {read: when all else fails, stick a boob in his mouth}.

So get ready for more travel and adventures with Mason in tow this year!

And that’s where I’m at.

If I had to give 2018 an overall theme I’d say discovery.

Discovery about what it means to to be me.

Me as a mom, me as a wife, me as a creative, friend, daughter, sister.

The past couple years were filled with so much change that I’m not sure who or what Ashlei looks like anymore.

But I’m ready to take this year and figure it all out.

So here’s to new adventures in 2018!

Thanks so much for reading, commenting, and sharing this post.

I’d also love to hear from you – what are some things you’re looking forward to in 2018?

looking forward to in 2018

  • Helen Fowowe

    Love! Love! Love! 2018 is a year of discovery for me as well, so everything on this post is resonating with me to the core. The gift of December 2017 is the discomforting truth that I have spent most of life playing it safe, not taking enough risks, not digging deeper to discover who I am underneath the status quo. So excited to be going on this journey in 2018 and knowing that I am not crazy or alone…

    • AshleiCeeTee

      Amazing Helen! Glad to hear I have a fellow traveler on the road to discovery. It’ll be interesting to see where this journey takes us, you’ll have to follow up with me at the end of the year 😀

      Thanks for commenting!

      xx

    • Amazing Helen! Glad to hear I have a fellow traveler on the road to discovery. It’ll be interesting to see where this journey takes us, you’ll have to follow up with me at the end of the year 😀

      Thanks for commenting!

      xx

  • Vianca Fuster

    Love, love, love all you wrote in this post. I can’t wait to be a mom someday but I hope to be able to prioritize my creative career at the same level as motherhood. Josef and I have talked about kids and redefining “gender parental roles” which will allow us to share responsibilities and have him be a very involved dad so I can balance both. So give us aspiring mom/creatives the tips to making it work when you figure them out!

    <3 Vianca + Jo

    • Oh thanks V! I will totally be the guinea pig and let you know whats up 😄❤️

      Thanks for the comment! 🙌🏾