Welcome to October, a.k.a. baby month.
We made it.
Babyceetee is due this month, in the next couple of weeks to be exact and oh-em-gee I’m ready.
I’m SO ready.
While I’m excited to finally meet this little nugget and see what he looks like – I’m REALLY excited to have my body back to myself.
I’m sure it’ll be a bit battered from labor, but man oh man it’ll be nice not carrying a watermelon between my legs everywhere I go.
Speaking of labor….that obviously needs to happen before reaching baby bliss.
And while I feel I’m in a good headspace to take on the challenge of labor, there’s still a soft cloud of fear hanging over me.
Fear of not knowing what to really expect.
Don’t get me wrong – I have obsessively researched the sh*t out of everything.
I’ve read books, watched videos, taken classes, taken refresher classes, talked with my midwives, asked those who have been through it to give me the dirty, dirty, dirty details.
I’ve ingested so much information when it comes to labor that I feel I could run my own class.
Which is good in a way, as it makes me feel relatively confident in my knowledge of how this is all going to go down.
And yet, despite all my research, there’s still that element of unknown. Because what I’ve also learned throughout this whole experience is how truly different every pregnancy/labor is.
At the end of the day, I really won’t know what will happen until I’m balls deep into it.
Which, for someone who tends over prepare for anything and everything, is incredibly frustrating.
But I’m trying to keep the fear and anxiety of not truly knowing what will happen at bay, and go into labor with a positive mindset.
I take heart in the fact that I’ve prepared myself as much as I can.
And when it comes down to it, all I can really do is put faith in my body and God to see me through it.
On another note, something I believe will be in my favor is that I’m not someone who tends to fall apart and succumb to physical pain easily.
Mental pain, yes.
But physical pain is something I can typically find the fortitude to push through.
There’s a tiny warrior Ashlei in the back of my mind that’s been training for the past 9 months and she is ready to OWN this labor.
At least that’s what I’m telling myself. And I pray it will see me through to the other side.
But until then, we wait…
I have to say it’s been a hell of a journey – one that’s only truly about to begin.
In terms of what the blog will look like this month, I have some posts planned and ready to go, as well as some time away scheduled for just the three of us.
When those things will happen really depends on the little man and when he decides to make his appearance.
Again, all we can do at this point is wait.
Before I sign off, I want to thank you guys for sticking with me through all this.
As I’ve mentioned, it’s been a heck of a ride with loads of ups, downs, and roundabouts.
I’ve learned a lot about myself and my capabilities. And I’m sure I’ll continue to learn more and more as I officially journey into motherhood.
So again, thank you for being a part of this space where I feel I can open up, share my thoughts, and connect.
It’s much appreciated.
Until next time – peace, love, and all the good stuff…