Life Update: #SoOverIt

Hi friends,

So I went a bit radio silent this last week as pregnancy is starting to take a really big toll on my mental {and to be fair, physical} state.

And as the title of this post states – I’m SO over it.

I’m midway through my 34th week and I am just DONE.

I’m ready for this baby to be out {but not really because there’s still so much we need to finish beforehand} and to step into this new chapter of parenthood.

The anticipation and waiting game is starting to drive me a little batty the closer we get to D-day {if he even comes on D-day – watch he’s late and I’ll be like Nooooooooooo 😱}.

It’s been such a long time coming, and I ready for it to be over.

I’m at the point where I’m really starting to feel like my body is not my own at the moment.

The day-to-day struggle of simply getting out of bed and taking a shower is no joke.

I use most of my energy and motivation for the day just to do that, so by the time I’m done I’m not too keen on putting together a blog post or sharing what I wore that day on Instagram {because it’s mostly been t-shirts and leggings – see picture above 🙄}.

Everything feels like a chore and takes twice as long for me to complete – which is really frustrating to me as I pride myself as someone who can buckle down and knock sh*t out.

But that hasn’t been the case lately and I won’t lie, it’s kind of beaten down my spirit.

It’s damn hard trying to maintain a sense of self-motivation in your creative endeavors, when the only thing your body and mind want to do is move from the bed to the couch to the bed again.

Before I continue though, I want to be clear – I’m not sharing these thoughts with you cause I’m looking for a pity party. {honestly I think that would frustrate me even more}

I’m sharing this because as connected as we all are with the internet and social media, I feel like now – more than ever before – there’s a lack of authenticity.

We’re incredibly connected technically, but disconnected socially.

We’re just as quick to share the good times as we are to hide away the bad.

We create and cultivate a facade of “supreme well-being”, a facade we feel pressure to upkeep even when the reality isn’t as shiny.

And I think it’s causing a great disservice to the power of the internet and social media – whose purpose is to connect us.

Because if you think about it – how can you truly connect with someone if you only share one side of yourself.

It’s a relationship that is extremely one note, one that tends to fall flat and feel very surface level.

I’m not saying you must share every bad or trying time you come across in order to build real connections.

But you shouldn’t feel like you have to hide them or keep up a happy facade during those times.

I think we all know this happens, heck maybe you’ve even done it before – I know I have.

The pressure to make life continuously appear like rainbows and butterflies is very much present, but it isn’t real.

Real life has its ebbs and flows, its ups and downs. And I think more and more it’s important to shine light on the waves of life we all go through.

To allow for more authenticity into our connections.

Showing it’s okay to have a bad day, or week, or month – that we all experience it one way or another.

And so here I am – trying to be a little more transparent and authentic with the way life is going at the moment.

It’s tough.

And while part of me feels extremely vulnerable for admitting to the struggle – I know I would feel guilty and fake if I tried keeping up a happy-go-lucky facade.

In addition, saying it out loud takes the power away and lessens the hold any negative feelings or thoughts have on my mind.

It’s therapeutic in a way.

Maybe you’re in a situation right now where life is feeling ‘meh’ – for whatever reason.

Consider this post as a supportive voice that says – it’s okay, we all have our days, and while I may not be experiencing your exact struggle – know that I definitely sympathize with the feeling of life not going as you hoped.

Own that feeling, know that it’ll pass, and that you’ll probably be stronger because of it.

And that, my friend, is where I’m leaving you today.

Back to our regularly scheduled programming next week ☺️

Peace, love, and all the good stuff…

 

  • kerry lott

    Hang in there! I truly appreciate your effort to keep it real. Taking care of you & your little bun is super important. 🙂

    • AshleiCeeTee

      Ahh! Kerry, I thought I responded to this ages ago! Pregnancy brain strikes again. Thanks for the kind words lady – much appreciated! ❤️