Letter From the Editor, July | On being a Modern Day Woman

Original Outfit Post: How to Make a Bodycon Dress Work for You

Sometimes being a woman today is hard.

Actually scratch that – most days being a woman is hard.ย ๐Ÿ˜…

It has been for centuries.

And while we have made leaps and bounds, we still find ourselves fighting for things that should be the norm {Iโ€™m looking at you GOP health care reformโ€ฆ.}.

It should go without saying that Iโ€™m proud to be a woman.

Iโ€™m all for girl power, we should all be feminist, I am woman hear me ROAR juju.

But Iโ€™ve also found, being a modern day woman comes with a lot of pressure to be all these things and more.

And while you can point fingers to society and โ€œThe Manโ€ trying to hold us back.

I find a lot of the pressure and expectations we face stem from one another, female-to-female.

Iโ€™m someone whoโ€™s always touted herself as Miss Independent, Miss Girl Power, Miss Fem-Nation.

But as I get closer and closer to stepping into a new role of Mother, I find myself feeling overwhelmed with the pressure and expectations to prove I can be all I can be in the name of WOMANHOOD.

Being a modern woman youโ€™re expected to stand up for your rights, fight to be at the top of your career, be body confident no matter your weight, be sexual on your terms, be modest, be ambitious, be humble, be aggressive, never settle, always strive for more.

Be strong, but also sensitive, be a lover, but also a fighter, be giving, but never give up on what you want.

Basically aspire to be like Beyonce, because if youโ€™re not – then what are you even doing here?

Iโ€™m seeing this โ€œbe all the thingsโ€ mentality even more as I dive into the world of mommyhood.

The pressure and expectation to be a โ€œsupermomโ€ who is happy, healthy, has a thriving career, is a doting wife, and raises well-adjusted children is crazy.

Itโ€™s exhausting, itโ€™s overwhelming, itโ€™s a thought that can keep me up at night.

Donโ€™t get me wrong – Iโ€™m all for being your best possible self.

But sometimes I feel as if a combination of the media, society, peers, and our inner egos make us construe being your best self with being the best at all the things.

As much as we bow down to her existence, I donโ€™t even think Beyonce is the best at all the things.

Nor should we expect her to be.

{And Bey, if youโ€™re reading, you shouldnโ€™t expect yourself to be the best at everything either ๐Ÿ˜‰}

Sheโ€™s human, she has her flaws, just like we all do.

Is she the best at what she does? Sure. {Though I know there are many who would disagree, and thatโ€™s fine}

But I believe itโ€™s because sheโ€™s NOT trying to do all the things.

She focuses on doing what she wants, on being who she wants, on pursuing whatever lights her spirit at the moment.

And THATโ€™S what makes her the best.

Look at any successful person you admire and I guarantee theyโ€™re at the top of what they do because they focused on what they wanted – not whatโ€™s expected or what they felt they โ€œshould doโ€.

Itโ€™s something we all, myself included, tend to lose sight of as time goes by and we get caught up in the swirl of social media posts, political activism, relationships, and just general life.

We forget what it means to be our best self according to us, and instead run around trying to โ€œbe our best selfโ€ according to the expectations of others.

So, as we move on through to the 2nd half of the year {can you believe we’re halfway through 2017?! Like – what???}, I want to encourage you, and in addition – myself, to do some realigning to get back to focusing on doing you.

Rather than trying to be all these things society, peers, friends, our inner egos tell us we should be – focus on being who you want to be, regardless of expectations.

Own who you are, what you want, and go after it.

Thatโ€™s a #realmoderndaywoman.

Peace, love, and all the good stuff.


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  • Wow, how did you know I needed this today?! I’ve been struggling with trying to be a great mom and make time to get back to my business during naps and before/after my little one goes to bed…but I’m feeling burnt out and like a failure at both. We’re deciding on when to start childcare and this post is helping me put back into perspective what I truly want and what’s best for myself and daughter, not what I think I “should” do. Thank you Ashlee! โค๏ธ

    • AshleiCeeTee

      Aww Megan that makes me so happy to hear!

      I totally get where you’re coming from. That is actually one of my biggest worries for after the little one comes – how do I make the time for getting back to my career goals without feeling selfish, burnt out, and a failure as a mom.

      But as you said, it’s all about focusing on what’s best for the two of you and having faith it’ll all work out the way it’s meant to ๐Ÿ™‚

      Thanks for the comment lady. Wishing you and your precious little girl all the best <3