I’m so over my natural hair.
Yeah, you read that correctly and I’ll say it again.
I’m SO over my natural hair.
And have been for some time.
It’s not that I’m looking to slap a relaxer on it again – that doesn’t thrill me at all.
But over the last year or so I’ve come to feel quite indifferent about my hair.
Which is hard to admit out loud since it’s become such a big part of who I am.
But the fact still remains – I’m over it.
To the point where my old blog, Kinks are the new Pink, felt like a lie (which is part of the reason I stepped away from it).
How could I say kinks are the new pink when every day I look at my kinks and have giant sweeping feelings of….
Don’t get me wrong, I still believe natural hair is beautiful and I love all the different flavors it can come in.
But as for my own hair….the love just isn’t there anymore.
So what’s a natural hair aficionado to do?
Well, I’ve tried wallowing about it on my own, but that didn’t do much of anything.
I tried testing out new styles, like the sew-in I had back in January. It was fun, but in the end it didn’t feel like me.
And I actually have plans to have faux locs put in in the next few weeks. Which I’m actually really excited about as it’s a style I’ve been waiting to try for FOREVER.
But all that still doesn’t address the underlying issue of having a complete disconnect with my natural roots.
I’ve found I’m struggling to care about caring for my natural hair.
Which is really unfair since, technically, it never did anything to me.
If anything this is all my doing.
So I’ve decided to make a plan.
A plan to reconnect with my natural roots, to re-embrace what my mama (but really my dad, because our hair is practically identical) gave me, and put effort back into my natural hair care routine.
What’s this plan?
So glad you asked!
5 Step Plan to Better Natural Hair Care
1. Understand your hair and it’s quirks
As I said before, one of the things I love about natural hair is how unique it can be.
From soft fluffy curls to crazy-beautiful kinks, everyone’s hair has it’s own flavor and quirks.
Now these can be a blessing or a curse depending on who you’re talking to, but either way, I think it’s important to understand what those quirks are in order to better care for your curls.
I know my hair is thick (lawd have mercy is it thick!) with tightly coiled curls, and it can take a beating but bounce back pretty quick with minimal to no damage.
It’s strong, but definitely needs the proper treatment to maintain that vitality. Otherwise it becomes very dull, dry, and matted – a state it’s unfortunately been in more often than not over the past year.
Where I plan to take action: Pay close attention to the look & feel of my hair day in and out especially as it pertains to the next two steps.
2. Find (and stand by) products that work
Oh natural hair care products….What a monster you’ve become!
Don’t get me wrong – I love that there’s more variety for us out there and that it’s become a more mainstream offering.
But damn if it’s not tempting to try everything on the shelf!
This is one area of beauty where I really get sucked into the marketing of products.
Slap a pretty label and fun typography on a bottle and I’m all YOURS!
While this can lead to some great discoveries, as DCT will tell you, it mostly leads to half-used bottles scattered across our bathroom counter and shower stall.
And it leaves me without a clue as to what works and what doesn’t, as I’m constantly switching from one thing to another.
Where I plan to take action: Research products before making any purchase to ensure they’re what I believe my hair needs. Commit to using exclusively for at least 30 days before deciding whether to move on or not.
3. Develop a regime that works for you
This is where I’ve really fallen off the horse.
In all honesty, I’ve only stuck to a natural hair care regime once in my 7 years of being natural.
And that was when my hair was the longest it’s ever been – go figure.
While I shampoo and condish regularly, there’s really no rhyme or reason to it.
I can’t remember the last time I deep conditioned (update: it was before I has the sew-in put in; but not after I took it out…..are you cringing at me yet?)
Add that on top of the mish mash of products I use with complete disregard it’s no wonder my hair is so up and down.
I’ve never been one who likes spending a lot of time on my hair – it’s one of the reasons I went natural in the first place.
But I’m starting to learn having a routine will actually save me time rather than take away from it.
I can properly arrange my schedule so it doesn’t interfere with other priorities and can truly dedicate myself to caring for my hair in that time without trying to rush through like I so often do. Which probably causes more damage than actual good in the end.
Where I plan to take action: Get honest about how long it takes to do my hair and create a schedule that works with my current lifestyle. Pay attention and tweak as necessary.
4. Protect, Maintain, & Treat your hair
A proper hair regime isn’t solely based on your wash and condition routine.
You’ve got to take care in protecting your hair, maintaining it, and treating it every now and then.
The problem I’ve had is seeing my hair care as an annoyance rather than time to take care of myself.
Part of this is because I was bit by the comparison bug and spent more time pining after the hair of other naturalista rather than working with what I have.
And the other part was because I didn’t protect, maintain, and treat my hair on a regular basis.
Things I KNOW are good for my hair, I would completely neglect.
Tying it up at night – Properly detangling when I washed – Getting a professional cut from someone who actually knows what they’re doing, rather than snipping myself all willy nilly.
All things I know are good for my hair’s health, but for some reason I came to either completely neglect or half-ass them.
Only continuing the cycle of discontent.
Where I plan to take action: Make it so treating my hair is like treating myself. This is the foundation of natural hair care in order to keep my hair healthy and just as fab as the naturalistas I admire.
5. Embrace it. Respect it. Love it.
As mentioned in the last step I’ve spent a lot of time wishing I had so-and-so’s hair.
Feelings of envy would consume me seeing some of the gorgeous, perfectly curled and fluffy fros on Youtube and Instagram.
Which would turn into annoyance at my own curls as I could never get my hair to do that.
And it’s probably true. I won’t be able to achieve the perfectly defined twist-outs and fro-hawks as I see them on others – but that’s not the point.
Just as people we’re each one of a kind, so is our hair.
So why not embrace it for the unique creation that it is?
Help it flourish and inspire others simply by owning that it’s yours.
I guarantee that’s what the popular YouTubers, Instagrammers, and natural hair bloggers do.
Where to take action here is quite simple: Love the hair you has.
And that’s it.
That’s my plan.
Moving forward I’m getting faux locs put in to give me some time away from my fro (as they say – absence makes the heart grow fonder).
But I still plan to set all this into motion, as it’s just as important to care for your hair even in a protective style like faux locs.
I’ll do an update for y’all in about 3 months time.
Until then, I’d love to hear from you.
Do you struggle with your natural hair care regime? What’s helped you get through the struggle?
Can’t wait to read your thoughts.
Thanks for reading, commenting, and sharing this post!