Well shit y’all – it’s been awhile.
I don’t know what’s up, but life seems to continually step in when I start getting into a blogging groove.
Part of me thinks it’s because the universe is trying to tell me this isn’t the thing I’m meant to be doing.
And another part of me, the overtly stubborn part, thinks the universe is just playing games and testing me – trying to work out if I’m truly committed, if I’m really willing to put in the effort.
I’ll be honest though, either way you slice it, I haven’t been very proactive when it comes to the blog or life in general lately.
I’ve been putting in zero effort, feeling a complete and total lack of creative mojo.
And while I’d like to say it’s not from a lack of trying – it’s been from a lack of trying.
BUT, in my defense, I have a pretty legit excuse as to why.
You see, these past two months I haven’t fully been myself.
In fact, you could say my body and mind haven been taken over by something else, both literally and figuratively speaking.
I’ve been going round and round trying to figure out the “best” way to share this news – I am supposed to be the creative showboat of the family after all.
But what I found was the thought of sharing this was quite paralyzing.
I was terrified at the thought because for me, once I put something out into the online world, it makes it that much more REAL.
And this is still very very unreal to me.
What is this thing that has got me all sorts of discombobulated and unsure of myself?
Well y’all……I’m pregnant.
There I said it, you read that correctly, it’s officially out there.
I’m nearing the end of my first trimester and thank GOD for that, because it has been a doozy.
From feeling like my body had been hit by a truck everyday, to never-ending spells of nausea, to total exhaustion to the point where I would take several naps throughout the day, sleep for 12 hours and STILL feel like I was running on empty.
These past two months have kicked my ass and left me with only enough energy to (maybe) put on clothes and move from my bed to the couch each day.
But, praise the Lord, there is light at the end of this tunnel!
This past week I’ve felt my energy come back and with it my motivation to get my life back on track (There’s a baby coming after all).
And despite my misgivings above, I am excited about this next chapter in life.
While having kids was never a top priority of mine – my mother will tell you she was convinced she wouldn’t see grandkids from me till I was almost 40 – it was definitely a step I wanted to take eventually.
Did I think it would happen at this exact point in my life?
Not really, no. This little nugget was definitely a surprise to me, DCT, and our families.
But when I think about it, we couldn’t be in a better time or place.
We’re in a committed relationship, we’ve got good steady income, and we’ve got a supportive network of family and friends.
Sure we thought we’d have a house with a yard and 2 car garage, and that I’d have a more stable career before a little one came into the picture – but when does life ever work the way you think it will? (answer: rarely, if ever)
So that’s my big secret, the thing that’s kept me from the blog and social media for 2 months.
I’m going to become a mama before the end of the year.
Admittedly, I’m also freaked out a bit (if the abundance of bug-eyed emojis didn’t give that away) – how am I going to raise an upstanding, hardworking, loving citizen of the world when I’m barely one myself at times?
It’s going to be the most life-changing event, by far! And I’ve got a serious learning curve to climb, but despite all that I feel – oddly enough – ready.
I’m ready to step into this new chapter, new life-role, and to see, touch, kiss, and snuggle something I can truly say is an original creation of my own (with the help of DCT, I suppose 😜)
So what’s this mean moving forward for the blog?
Well, get ready for loads of pregnancy posts!
But no worries, I don’t see this turning into a full on mommy blog, mainly because I’m in no position to be giving mommy advice.
But I would like to share my experience, as I’m a bit of an anomaly – first time pregnancy having a baby in London as an American expat.
Will he/she have dual citizenship? How does the maternity process work in the UK? How will I coordinate a baby shower with family and friends back in the US? Where does one even buy baby things in the UK? How does one stay comfy and stylish with a growing bump? When and where should we take a babymoon? What the heck is a babymoon? What pregnancy items are essential to my sanity?
All these questions and more to be answered.
I hope you’re excited to go on this journey with me and looking forward to welcoming our little nugget into the world come October.
Thanks so much for reading, commenting, and sharing this post.
And with that – it’s nap time….(ohemgee I’m pregnant!!!!😂)
Top Image Credit: @plantenfestijn